Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
