Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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