there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
