Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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