I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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