Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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