Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
