I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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