you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
