problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
