We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
