I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So here I am, sexting at work.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
