If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
