I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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