I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
