I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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