At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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