Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
