Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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