maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
