dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
don't judge my taste in strippers
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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