But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My dick has a subreddit
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
