Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize