he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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