My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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