so let's talk penis.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
