so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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