Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
