Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
