I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
