so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
