Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
