I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
