The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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