peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
