I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
