It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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