How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize