i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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