I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
