haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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