Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
