Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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