May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
