Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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