So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
