She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
