Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
