Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize