I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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