I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
