yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
