Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
