Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize