I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
vagina is talking i cant
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
