So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
