I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
