just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
